Surviving the Unforgivable Curses
by Misha
Summary: Neville's thoughts as Moody demonstrates the Cruciatus curse.


Surviving the Unforgivable Curses   
By Misha 

Disclaimer- Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling and is not mine, however much I might wish differently. However, I am not making any money off of this, so please do not sue me! 

Author's Notes- Most of this story is taken from Chapter Fourteen of Goblet of Fire. It's Neville's PoV as Moody/Crouch demonstrates the Unforgivable curses. The dialogue is from the book, but Neville's thoughts and feelings are all mine. That part struck me and I couldn't resist writing it. I like Neville and I feel sorry for him, and I wanted to write about what he's feeling. Well, that's all for now, enjoy! 

Summery- Neville's thoughts as Moody demonstrates the Cruciatus curse. 

Spoilers- Goblet of Fire. 

Rating- PG   


* * *

"So--Straight into it. Curses." 

As soon as Moody said those words, I felt dread forming in the pit of my stomach. 

_Please, no._ I prayed silently. _Please let it be minor curses._

But this was Mad Eye Moody and he wasn't exactly known for restraint. 

"They come in many strengths and forms. Now, according to the Ministry of Magic, I'm supposed to teach you counter-curses and leave it at that." Moody continued and with those words I knew that my fear was about to be confirmed. "I'm not supposed to show you what illegal Dark curses look like until you're in the sixth year. You're not supposed to be old enough to deal with it Ôtil then." 

I for one, was all for that plan. I didn't think I would ever be ready to witness the Cruciatus curse and see what my parents had suffered through. 

But I didn't think I had a choice. 

"But Professor Dumbledore's got a higher opinion of your nerves, he reckons you can cope, and I say, the sooner you know what you're up against, the better. How are you supposed to defend yourself against something you've never seen? A wizard who's about to put an illegal curse on you isn't going to tell you what he's about to do. He's not going to do it nice and polite to your face. You need to be prepared. You need to be alert and watchful. You need to put that way, Miss Brown, when I'm talking." 

I turned to see Lavender jump and blush. It was obvious that she had been showing Parvati something under her desk. Apparently Moody's magical eye could see through solid wood, as well as out of the back of his head. 

"So... Do any of you know which curses are most heavily punished by wizarding law?" 

I looked around me and saw several hands rose tentatively in the air, including Ron's and Hermione's. 

Moody pointed at Ron, though his magical eye was still fixed on Lavender. 

"Er," said Ron tentatively, "my dad told me about one... Is it called the Imperious curse, or something?" 

I let out a silent sigh of relief. Imperious first. That would give me a little bit of time to prepare myself. 

"Ah, yes," Moody said appreciatively. "Your father _would_ know that one. Gave the Ministry a lot of trouble at one time, the Imperious curse." 

Moody got heavily to his mismatched feet, opened his desk drawer and took out a glass jar. Three large, black spiders were scuttling around inside it. 

Moody reached into the jar, caught one of the spiders and held it in the palm of his hand so that they could all see it. 

He then pointed his wand at it, and muttered, "_Imperio!_" 

The spider leapt from Moody's hand on a fine thread of silk, and began to swing backwards and forwards as though on a trapeze. It stretched out its legs rigidly, then did a back flip, breaking the thread and landing on the desk where it began to cartwheel in circles. Moody jerked his wand, and the spider rose onto two of its hind legs and went into what was unmistakably a tap dance. 

We were all laughing, it really was funny, everyone except Moody. 

"Think it's funny, do you?" he growled. "You'd like it, would you, if I did it to you?" 

The laughter died away almost instantly. 

_I'd rather have the Imperious than anything else._

The thought came to my mind unbidden, but it was true. Of the three Unforgivable Curses, Imperious would be my first choice and then I think I would choice the Killing Curse over the third. 

Anything but that... 

"Total control," said Moody quietly, as the spider balled itself up and began to roll over and over. "I could make it jump out of the window, drown itself, throw itself down one of your throats..." 

I could see Ron give an involuntary shudder. 

That didn't surprise me, I knew that he hates spiders. 

"Years back, there were a lot of witches and wizards being controlled by the Imperious curse," said Moody, referring to the days when You-Know-Who was in power. "Some job for the Ministry, trying to sort our who was being forced to act, and who was acting of their own free will." 

"The Imperious curse can be fought, and I'll be teaching you how, but it takes real strength of character, and not everyone's got it. Better avoid being hit with it if you can. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" he barked, and everyone jumped. 

Moody picked up the somersaulting spider and threw it back in the jar. "Anyone else know one? Another illegal curse?" 

I could see Hermione's hand fly into the air and, to my own surprise, so did mine. 

I didn't think I'd have the guts, but, well, I'd rather do this on my own terms. Maybe it'll be easier that way. 

"Yes?" said Moody, his magical eye rolling right over to fix on me. 

"There's one--the Cruciatus curse," I said, in a small voice, my tongue tripping over the word. 

_The curse that took my parents from me._ I thought, but did not say out loud. 

I never talk about my parents out loud, it's just easier that way. 

I could see that Moody was looking very intently at me, this time with both eyes. 

I groaned silently. Moody was an Auror, he worked with my father, of course he'd make the connection. 

"You name's Longbottom?" he said, his magical eye swooping down to check the register again. 

I nodded, nervously. I knew that he knew who I was, how could he not? However, I hoped that he would choose not to comment on it. 

For once, I was in luck. Moody made no further inquiries, instead he turned his back to the class at large, he reached into the jar for the next spider and placed it upon the desktop, where it remained motionless, apparently too scared to move. 

"The Cruciatus curse," said Moody. "Needs to be a bit bigger for you to get the idea," he said, pointing his want at the spider. "_Engorgio!_" 

The spider swelled. It was now larger than a tarantula. 

Moody raised his wand again, pointed it at the spider, and muttered: "_Crucio!_" 

I watched in spellbound a horror as the spider's legs bent in upon its body; it rolled over and began to twitch horrible, rocking from side to side. 

No sound came from it, but, I knew in my heart, if it could it would have been screaming. 

Like my parents' must have screamed. 

I watched the spider, but what I really saw was my parents going through the same thing. The agony they endured. 

How could anyone do that to someone else? 

Without even realizing it, I had clenched my hands upon the desk, my knuckles white. I'm sure that my eyes were wide with the terror I felt. 

"Stop it!" I heard Hermione say suddenly in a shrill voice, but I wasn't really paying any attention. 

My mind was too busy thinking about my parents and what they had gone through... No wonder they had been left in the state that they were. 

After a long time, I was able to refocus a little bit. 

I could see that Moody had put the spider back in its jar. 

"Pain," said Moody softly. "You don't need thumbscrews or knives to torture someone if you can perform the Cruciatus curse... That one was very popular once, too." 

I bit my lip. 

Yeah, very popular. Sometimes the Death Eaters hadn't felt like giving you the mercy of killing you, sometimes they had decided to draw it out and force you to endure something far worse... 

And rarely were you lucky enough to die. Sometimes, it just left you in a state much worse than death. 

"Right... Anyone know any others?" I could hear Moody ask. 

I knew what was next and I looked around the class to see if anyone would volunteer the information. 

Only Hermione raised her hand in the air and it shook as she did so. 

"_Avada Kedavra_," Hermione whispered. 

I could see several people looked uneasily around at her, including Ron. 

I looked at Harry and felt sympathy for him. 

He was about to go through the same thing as me. He was about to see the way his parents had died. 

"Ah," said Moody, another slight smile twisting his lopsided mouth. "Yes, the last and worst. _Avada Kedavra_... the killing curse." 

I didn't really pay much attention, my mind was still on the Cruciatus. 

I imagined my mother and father's screams, the pain they must have felt, how long they must have endured it to be left permanently in the state that they are in now. 

I hate the Death Eaters. 

I've never hated anyone else in my life, not even Snape or Malfoy, I'm not really the type to hate anyone. 

But I hate the Death Eaters, not just the ones you tortured my parents, but all of them. Because they all performed those curses, they all tortured and killed innocents and for that, I hate them all. 

I hate them, because my father spent his life trying to oppose them to do good and look what it got him. 

If it wasn't for the Death Eaters, maybe I would have had a real family. 

I looked over at Harry, who was staring at the blackboard and I knew that the same thoughts must be running through his head. 

That, like me, he was thinking about what the Death Eaters had taken away from him. 

Suddenly, I heard Moody talking again, and forced myself to listen as I had already missed a bunch of what he had said. 

"Avada Kedavra's a curse that needs a powerful bit of magic behind it--you could all get your wands out now and point them at me and say the words, and I doubt I'd get so much as a nosebleed. But that doesn't matter. I'm not here to teach you how to do it." He told us. 

"Now, if there's no counter-curse, why am I showing you?" He asked. "_Because you've got to know_. You've got to appreciate what the worst is. You don't want to find yourself in a situation where you're facing it. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" he roared, and the whole class jumped again. 

"Now... Those three curses---Avada Kedavra, Imperious and Cruciatus--are known as the Unforgivable Curses. The use of any one of them on a fellow human being is enough to earn a life sentence in Azkaban. That's what you're up against. That's what I've got to teach you to fight. You need preparing. You need arming. But most of all, you need to practice _constant, never-ceasing vigilance_. Get out your quills... Copy this down..." 

We spent the rest of the lesson taking notes on each of the Unforgivable Curses. 

No one spoke until the bell rang--but when Moody had dismissed us and w e the classroom, I could hear a torrent of talk burst forth. 

Most people were discussing the curses in awed voices-- "Did you see it twitch" "--and when he killed it--just like that!" 

I couldn't bear it. 

Didn't these people realizes that those curses had been used on real people? That it wasn't just fun and games. 

It was real. 

Horribly, heartbreakingly real. 

I just stood there, staring a stone wall. not really focusing on anything. 

"Neville?" Hermione said gently. 

I looked around at the sound of her voice, a little startled. 

"Oh, hello," I said in a high voice. "Interesting lesson, wasn't it? I wonder what's for dinner, I'm--I'm starving, aren't you?" 

The fact was, I didn't think I could eat a bite, but I couldn't bear to talk about the lesson. It was too raw and too personal. 

"Neville, are you all right?" Hermione asked me in a concerned voice. 

"Oh, yes, I'm fine," I gabbled, feeling anything but fine. 

However, I didn't want her concern, because that would mean I would have to explain why I was upset and I couldn't talk about it. I **couldn't**. 

"Very interesting dinner--I mean lesson--what's for eating?" 

I could see Ron give Harry a startled look. 

"Neville, what--?" 

Suddenly, there was an odd clunking noise behind us, and we all turned to see Professor Moody limping towards them. 

We all fell silent, watching him apprehensively. 

I, personally, was filled with dread. 

Moody was the last person I wanted to talk to right now, but when he was spoke, it was a much lower and gentler growl than I had yet heard. 

"It's all right, sonny," he told me compassionately. "Why don't you come up to my office? Come on... We can have a cup of tea..." 

I wasn't overjoyed with the prospect of tea with him, but I didn't know how to get out of it. 

So I stood there, silent and unmoving. 

I could see Moody turn his magical eye upon Harry. "You all right, are you Potter?" 

"Yes," said Harry, almost defiantly. 

I could tell that he didn't want the pity either. Like me, he probably just wanted some time to think. 

Moody's blue eye quivered slightly in its socket as it surveyed Harry. 

Finally he said, "You've got to know. It seems harsh, maybe, _but you've got to know._ No point pretending..." 

He turned to me with the same look in his normal eye. "Well... come on, Longbottom, I've got some books that might interest you." 

I looked pleadingly at Harry, Ron and Hermione, but they didn't say anything, so I had no choice but to allow myself to be steered away, one of Moody's gnarled hands on my shoulder. 

It wasn't that I was afraid of Moody, it was more that I knew he was going to talk to me as Frank and Christina Longbottom's son. 

As the boy whose parents lay in St. Mungo's, completely insane. 

Moody was silent as he led me to his office, one we were there, he sat me down and then turned around to make a cup of tea. 

"There you go, sonny," he said when he was done, taking a seat as he handed it to me. 

"Thank you." I said, staring down in it. 

"Professor Sprout tells me that you have quite a hand when it comes to Herbology." Moody told me. 

"Really?" I asked, looking up at him in surprise. 

I rarely get compliments and certainly not when it comes to my schoolwork. 

"Yes and I found a book that I thought you might look." He told her, handing me a heavy volume. 

I looked at it and beamed. "Thank you!" 

"You're welcome, sonny." Moody told me. "Finish your tea." 

I did so and then a few minutes later, I left. 

My mind was still full of what I had seen and thoughts about what my parents must have gone through. 

But I felt a little better. 

For a moment, I felt like I was more than Neville the failure. Neville the kid whose parents were insane. I was good at something. 

It was almost enough to wipe the horrible image of the Cruciatus kiss. 

Almost, but not quite. 

That night I would stay wake in my room, unable to sleep, the image of what my parents must have gone through firmly in my mind. 

And I could hear Harry still awake in his bed, haunted by the same thing. 

That's the true curse. 

Not what it does to the victim. But what it does to those left behind. 

The End 


End file.
